The New York Times recently published a rather disturbing headline stating the time for cannibalism is now. While such a declaration certainly raises eyebrows, it’s far from an isolated incident. For decades this taboo topic has insidiously inched from the shadows to the forefront of society. Soylent Green, the 1973 horror film, portrays a dystopian future where overpopulation leads to mass cannibalism. Pop stars have created music videos sexualizing being eaten alive. Some scientists claim consuming mortal flesh combats ‘climate change’. A peer-reviewed paper suggests feasting on people results in numerous health benefits. However, one revolutionary food supplier is taking things a step further by selling human meat.
As average citizens struggle to afford groceries due to rapidly rising inflation, a peculiar startup is presenting an unconventional remedy. Bite Labs is working to produce artisan salami made from celebrity stem cells. These cured sausages contain about 30% human meat and 40% lab-grown animal meat. According to the company’s official website: “We mix celebrity and animal meats, grown in-house through a proprietary culturing process, into curated salami blends. Starting with biopsied myoblast cells, we grow our healthy, rich, meats in Bite Labs’ own bioreactors. Meat production today is simply unsustainable— unless a radical change is made, the price of meat will eventually rise out of control. Lab-grown meats are the future.”
Close your eyes and picture the plot of a dystopian science fiction film. An eccentric mad scientist is determined to depopulate the planet. Under the guise of philanthropy, he visits impoverished nations and sterilizes women with toxic injections. Unsuspecting citizens are used as lab rats in his heinous medical experiments. Implanted microchips harvest the biometric energy of test subjects. He carries out massive terraforming projects to eliminate vital atmospheric gases. The antagonist creates a 12-ton calcium carbonate bomb designed to block sunlight from reaching Earth. While such undertakings sound unbelievable, these events are all true. Unfolding before our eyes is a bizarre storyline starring Bill Gates as the diabolical villain. Chillingly, he is concocting new ways to wreak havoc on society.
In 2008 the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation approached an esteemed Japanese university with an intriguing proposal. They wanted to manufacture a revolutionary type of genetically modified mosquito. Through artificial alterations, the tiny pests would be capable of administering vaccines with a single bite. Professor Hiroyuki Matsuoka received $100,000 to facilitate this unprecedented endeavor. The Microsoft founder offered $1,000,000 to any technician successful in creating flying syringes. Gates planned on mass-producing the pharmaceutical-laden insects and distributing them worldwide. One year later the sweater-clad computer nerd hosted a presentation at an elite conference. Amid his speech about malaria, the self-proclaimed humanitarian released a swarm of captured gnats onto audience members. As the ravenous bloodsuckers freely roamed, he gleefully exclaimed: there’s no reason only poor people should have the experience!