US Army Corps Announces Bigfoot is a Legitimate Species

For decades, the existence of Sasquatch has been highly debated. Skeptics scoff at the idea of North American bipedal hominids while believers cite supporting evidence including print castings, hair samples and video footage. Sightings of these enigmatic forest dwellers date back centuries, spanning across nearly every continent on Earth. However, society continues to dismiss the cryptid as merely a mythological creature or hoaxer’s feeble attempt at trickery. Yet would public perception shift if government agents produced a document listing Bigfoot as a legitimate species? Several decades ago, that precise scenario occurred.

In 1975 the United States Army Corps of Engineers debuted Washington Environmental Atlas, a manual which provided comprehensive information about the region. The book required over three years of research and a budget of $200,000 (which inflation equates to nearly one million dollars in 2019). Comprising the 114-page encyclopedia are maps, geological data, and zoological reports. An excerpt from the paperback declares: “The Washington Environmental Atlas identifies and describes many resources and amenities important to the citizens of the State of Washington. The environment is described not only in terms of the preferences and values of people and agencies, but also in terms of the structure and function of basic ecosystems. Accordingly, significant effort was devoted to a map overlay of ecological life zones, species lists and habitats.”

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A page from the Washington Environmental Atlas which provides detailed information about Sasquatch.

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Spook Hill: Florida’s Haunting Roadside Attraction

“Ages ago an Indian Town on Lake Wailes lake was plagued with raids by a huge gator. The town’s great warrior Chief and the gator were killed in a final battle that created the huge swampy depression nearby. The chief was buried on its north side. Later pioneer haulers coming from the old army trail atop the ridge above found their horses laboring here… at the foot of the ridge… and called it Spook hill. Is it the gator seeking revenge, or the chief protecting his land?”

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Long before Orlando’s infamous amusement parks, Winter Haven was a popular destination for vacationers. Eager tourists would flock to Cypress Gardens, a botanical wonderland for floral enthusiasts. Unfortunately, like many beloved relics from forgotten eras, modern-day capitalism has turned over these former treasures to the highest bidder. Merlin Entertainments purchased the property several years ago. What was once a majestic natural conservatory is now “Legoland”— a sprawling city of monstrous plastic cubes. However, one quirky roadside attraction remains in a nearby town. Best of all: the admission is completely free!

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Bizarre Beasts of Cryptozoology

For those of you who are unaware, ‘Down the Chupacabra Hole’ is a play on Alice in Wonderland’s magical imagery. After all, the concept of entering a previously hidden word where things aren’t quite what they seem rings true for conspiracy theorists. For nearly two years, I have envisioned a chupacabra-white rabbit hybrid greeting readers who stumble upon my little corner of the internet. I am happy to announce we finally have our official mascot!  Thank you to the wonderful Gazoo Shop who created such incredible artwork for DTCH. They specialize in animations, photography, graphic design and video production. If you’re a fan of enigmatic undiscovered species, you’ll love Gazoo’s other illustrations. 

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