Down the Chupacabra Hole

For decades, the existence of Sasquatch has been highly debated. Skeptics scoff at the idea of North American bipedal hominids while believers cite supporting evidence including print castings, hair samples and video footage. Sightings of these enigmatic forest dwellers date back centuries, spanning across nearly every continent on Earth. However, society continues to dismiss the cryptid as merely a mythological creature or hoaxer’s feeble attempt at trickery. Yet would public perception shift if government agents produced a document listing Bigfoot as a legitimate species? Several decades ago, that precise scenario occurred.

In 1975 the United States Army Corps of Engineers debuted Washington Environmental Atlas, a manual which provided comprehensive information about the region. The book required over three years of research and a budget of $200,000 (which inflation equates to nearly one million dollars in 2019). Comprising the 114-page encyclopedia are maps, geological data, and zoological reports. An excerpt from the paperback declares: “The Washington Environmental Atlas identifies and describes many resources and amenities important to the citizens of the State of Washington. The environment is described not only in terms of the preferences and values of people and agencies, but also in terms of the structure and function of basic ecosystems. Accordingly, significant effort was devoted to a map overlay of ecological life zones, species lists and habitats.”

Native flora and fauna were chronicled in great detail. Plants included Pacific Dogwood, Yellow-Eyed Grass and Sitka Spruce. Animals ranged from fish to mammals. Amongst descriptions of bald eagles, elk and trout a particularly unconventional critter stood out: the legendary Sasquatch. Multiple illustrations of the elusive beast are depicted along with a geographic chart containing numerous firsthand encounter locations. Based on credible reports, Bigfoot stands up to ten feet tall and can weigh in excess of one thousand pounds. Each stride spans over six feet. Plaster molds created by supposed tracks measure an astonishing twenty-four inches in length and ten inches in breadth.

Washington Environmental Atlas continues to outline the fearsome ape-like being with incredible precision. Reportedly, the Pacific Northwest’s mysterious inhabitant is an omnivore which feeds on both vegetation and raw meats. Its muscular body is covered with thick hair although the face and hands remaining bare. Those who have experienced close contact with Sasquatch assert these massive brutes appear eerily human. They are exceptionally agile and can quickly cover vast distances when searching for food, shelter or companionship. Many have nocturnal tendencies and the vertebrate’s large eyes can see clearly in low-light conditions.

Furthermore, the entry referred to previous studies performed and analyzed. Experts felt that the colossal footprints discovered had been legitimate. Minute impressions would be impossible to recreate due to the complex precision of dermal ridges. Officials who closely examined the infamous Patterson-Gimlin Film concurred on its validity. No indications of fabrication or alterations could be observed. Perhaps the most interesting statement referred to are purported Sasquatch hair samples. FBI laboratories tested the unique follicles and were shocked by their results. According to scientists: “no such hair exists on any human or presently-known animal”.    

After the publication’s release, media coverage broke the groundbreaking news nationally. Suddenly Army Corps authorities claimed it was all a joke. Similarly to the Roswell incident, back peddling commenced swiftly. Even if it had been written in jest (albeit high-ranking military personnel aren’t typically known for being pranksters), why publish formerly classified FBI investigations? National Park Service rangers have made it illegal to search for Bigfoot unless a permit is obtained. Might it be plausible they are aware of the humanoid’s presence and want to keep an eye on those who seek answers? Whatever the reason may be, civilians deserve to know if there is a potentially dangerous predator lurking in America’s forests.

Do you believe in Sasquatch? Share your thoughts in the comments!